Tips to Help Keep Your Child Safe
Protecting children is a daily responsibility for caregivers, and talking openly about personal body safety is one of the most effective ways to educate, empower, and protect them.
B.E. S.M.A.R.T., created by Prevent Child Abuse Delaware (PCAD), teaches children about personal body safety and child abuse in an age-appropriate, child-friendly way.
Below, you’ll find details about what children learn at each grade level through the program, along with resources to help your family stay B.E. S.M.A.R.T. and safe.
B.E. S.M.A.R.T. Parent Resources:
Children in the B.E. S.M.A.R.T. program also receives an activity book that reinforces the concepts taught during the program. Each book includes family follow-up activities to help caregivers continue these important conversations at home.
Need help starting the conversation with a child in your life?
Download our free Safety Talk Questions to guide discussions:
What Children Learn
Kindergarten – 2nd Grade
Feelings
- All feelings are okay and important.
- Feelings are not ‘good’ or ‘bad’ – it’s how you express them that matters.
- Expressing feelings can help keep children safe.
- Safe adults care about all your feelings and are there to listen, help, and protect you.
Tips for Caregivers
- Help children identify and talk about their feelings.
- Model identifying and expressing feelings yourself.
Books to Help Children Learn About Feelings
- Sometimes I Feel Like a Mouse – Jeanne Modesitt
- What Makes Me Happy? – Catherine and Laurence Anholt
- Today I Feel Silly & Other MOODS That Make My Day – Jamie Lee Curtis
- The Feelings Storybook – Alexandra Delis-Abrams, Ph.D
- The Very Angry Day That Amy Didn’t Have – Lawrence Shapiro
- A to Z Do You Ever Feel Like Me? – Bonnie Hausman
- Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day – Judith Viorst
- The Hurt – Teddi Doleski
- Andrew’s Angry Words – Dorothea Lachner
- I Was So Mad – Mercer Mayer
The 3 Safety Rules
Rules to follow if someone hurts you or touches you in a way you don’t like:
- Say No!
- Get Away (if you can)
- Tell Someone (sometimes it’s okay to yell for help)
The 4 Private Places
- Mouth, chest, and the two places covered by underwear.
- No one should touch or look at these places unless they are helping you keep your body clean or healthy.
- Review regularly and give examples of safe touches (e.g., doctor visits).
Safe People
- Mouth, chest, and the two places covered by underwear.
- No one should touch or look at these places unless they are helping you keep your body clean or healthy.
- Review regularly and give examples of safe touches (e.g., doctor visits).
Touches
- Good Touch: Makes you feel happy, does not hurt, and is okay to give/get.
- Bad Touch: Hurts you, makes you sad, scared, or angry. Should not be given or received.
- Secret Touch: Told to keep a secret, especially involving private places. Always tell a trusted adult.
Tips for Caregivers
- Good Touch: Makes you feel happy, does not hurt, and is okay to give/get.
- Bad Touch: Hurts you, makes you sad, scared, or angry. Should not be given or received.
- Secret Touch: Told to keep a secret, especially involving private places. Always tell a trusted adult.
Books About Touches
- I Said No: A Kid-to-Kid Guide to Keeping Private Parts Private – Zack and Kimberly King
- Your Body Belongs to You – Cornelia Spelman
- My Body is Private – Linda Malvoord Girard
- Body Boundaries Make Me Stronger – Elizabeth Cole
Secrets (1st Grade and Up)
- Good Secret: Makes you feel happy or excited (e.g., surprise gift).
- Bad Secret: Makes you feel sad, scared, or worried. Always tell a trusted adult.
3rd – 6th Grade
Behaviors of a Safe Adult
Safe adults SHOULD:
- Listen carefully and give full attention.
- Help when you have a problem.
- Be caring and kind.
- Set limits to keep you safe.
- Respect your body and boundaries.
Safe adults SHOULD NOT:
- Make fun of you when you’re scared.
- Ask you to keep bad secrets.
- Touch private places without a good reason.
- Say hurtful things constantly.
- Cause serious injury.
The Four Types of Child Abuse
- Physical Abuse: Hurts a child on purpose, leaving marks or injuries.
- Emotional Abuse: Repeated verbal harm (e.g., “You’re worthless”).
- Neglect: Not providing basic needs (food, shelter, clothing).
- Sexual Abuse: Touching private places without a good reason, or forcing a child to touch someone else. May include photos.
Important: Abuse is never okay and never the child’s fault.
5th – 6th Grade Only
Boundaries
- Personal boundaries: Limits you set for yourself and others. Includes physical and emotional boundaries.
- Ways to set boundaries:
- Be direct/assertive – “No thank you, I do not want a hug right now.”
- Make an excuse – “I’m not feeling well today, so I can’t hug you.”
- Use humor – “You know I only give hugs on holidays!”
- Ignore/leave – Move away or leave safely.
- Always tell a safe adult if someone repeatedly violates a boundary.