B.E. S.M.A.R.T. © for Parents
B.E. S.M.A.R.T. is Prevent Child Abuse Delaware’s age-appropriate, school-based prevention program designed to help children build the skills they need to feel safe, confident, and supported—at school, at home, and in their communities.
Through engaging lessons and trusted relationships, students learn how to recognize feelings, set boundaries, identify safe adults, and ask for help when something doesn’t feel right. The program grows with students, introducing concepts gradually and thoughtfully as they develop.
B.E. S.M.A.R.T. is offered to students in Pre-K through 8th grade and is delivered by trained PCAD’s Prevention Education Specialists during the school day.
Our Approach
Lessons are interactive, developmentally appropriate, and grounded in a strengths-based approach. We focus on empowering children—not frightening them—by giving them language, tools, and trusted support systems.
For our youngest learners, we use PA Bear, a friendly and familiar teaching tool that helps introduce important safety concepts in a way that feels approachable, engaging, and non-threatening.
As students grow, lessons build on prior learning, helping them apply safety skills to real-world situations, including online and community settings.
Children in the B.E. S.M.A.R.T. program receive an activity book that reinforces the concepts taught during the program. Each book includes family follow-up activities to help caregivers continue these important conversations at home.
B.E. S.M.A.R.T. is a simple way to remember the actions that help keep your child safe and supported. Each letter is a reminder of what you can do at home:
Be actively involved in your child’s day-to-day life. Small gestures can make a big difference:
- Talk with your child about their day.
- Attend activities when possible.
- Listen without judgment.
- Know where your child goes online and what they explore.
Support open communication about feelings, boundaries, and safety:
- Ask about their feelings regularly.
- Explain the differences between secrets and surprises—no secret should last forever.
- Teach correct names for body parts.
- Discuss bullying, online safety, and appropriate touch.
- Reassure your child that they can say “no” to any unwanted touch.
Awareness is key to prevention:
- Most abuse occurs from someone the child knows; 40% involves older children.
- Grooming behaviors include giving gifts for no reason, seeking alone time, or ignoring
Reduce risks through environment and supervision:
- Favor group activities over one-on-one situations.
- Ensure interactions are observable and can be interrupted.
Use open-ended, non-leading questions to understand your child’s world:
- Who are your safe people?
- What scares you?
- Who do you play with at school or online?
Behavioral or physical changes can signal issues:
- Changes in behavior, school performance, or sleep patterns
- Poor hygiene or unexplained injuries
- Age-inappropriate sexual play
- Fear of certain people or places
If your child discloses abuse:
- Stay calm and listen.
- Believe them and reassure them that they did the right thing.
- Avoid blaming, pressuring, or asking leading questions.
- Trust your instincts—report concerns at 1-800-292-9582.
How Can I Help Keep My Child Safe?
Protecting children is a daily responsibility for caregivers, and talking openly about personal body safety is one of the most effective ways to educate, empower, and protect them.
Below, you’ll find details about what children learn at each grade level through the program, along with resources to help you and your family get the conversation started, stay B.E. S.M.A.R.T., and stay safe.
What Children Learn — By Grade Level
Feelings
- All feelings are okay and important.
- Feelings are not ‘good’ or ‘bad’ – it’s how you express them that matters.
- Expressing feelings can help keep children safe.
- Safe adults care about all your feelings and are there to listen, help, and protect you.
The 3 Safety Rules
Rules to follow if someone hurts you or touches you in a way you don’t like:
- Say No!
- Get Away (if you can)
- Tell Someone (sometimes it’s okay to yell for help)
The 4 Private Places
- Mouth, chest, and the two places covered by underwear.
- No one should touch or look at these places unless they are helping you keep your body clean or healthy.
- Review regularly and give examples of safe touches (e.g., doctor visits).
Safe People
- Mouth, chest, and the two places covered by underwear.
- No one should touch or look at these places unless they are helping you keep your body clean or healthy.
- Review regularly and give examples of safe touches (e.g., doctor visits).
Touches
- Good Touch: Makes you feel happy, does not hurt, and is okay to give/get.
- Bad Touch: Hurts you, makes you sad, scared, or angry. Should not be given or received.
- Secret Touch: Told to keep a secret, especially involving private places. Always tell a trusted adult.
Secrets (1st Grade and Up)
- Good Secret: Makes you feel happy or excited (e.g., surprise gift).
- Bad Secret: Makes you feel sad, scared, or worried. Always tell a trusted adult.
Behaviors of a Safe Adult
Safe adults SHOULD:
- Listen carefully and give full attention.
- Help when you have a problem.
- Be caring and kind.
- Set limits to keep you safe.
- Respect your body and boundaries.
Safe adults SHOULD NOT:
- Make fun of you when you’re scared.
- Ask you to keep bad secrets.
- Touch private places without a good reason.
- Say hurtful things constantly.
- Cause serious injury.
The Four Types of Child Abuse
- Physical Abuse: Hurts a child on purpose, leaving marks or injuries.
- Emotional Abuse: Repeated verbal harm (e.g., “You’re worthless”).
- Neglect: Not providing basic needs (food, shelter, clothing).
- Sexual Abuse: Touching private places without a good reason, or forcing a child to touch someone else. May include photos.
Important: Abuse is never okay and never the child’s fault.
Boundaries
- Personal boundaries: Limits you set for yourself and others. Includes physical and emotional boundaries.
- Ways to set boundaries:
- Be direct/assertive – “No thank you, I do not want a hug right now.”
- Make an excuse – “I’m not feeling well today, so I can’t hug you.”
- Use humor – “You know I only give hugs on holidays!”
- Ignore/leave – Move away or leave safely.
- Always tell a safe adult if someone repeatedly violates a boundary.
More information coming soon.
How You Can Support Them at Home
Feelings
- Help children identify and talk about their feelings.
- Model identifying and expressing feelings yourself.
Click here to download a PDF to help learn how to discuss feelings with your child.
Books to Help Children Learn About Feelings
- Sometimes I Feel Like a Mouse – Jeanne Modesitt
- What Makes Me Happy? – Catherine and Laurence Anholt
- Today I Feel Silly & Other MOODS That Make My Day – Jamie Lee Curtis
- The Feelings Storybook – Alexandra Delis-Abrams, Ph.D
- The Very Angry Day That Amy Didn’t Have – Lawrence Shapiro
- A to Z Do You Ever Feel Like Me? – Bonnie Hausman
- Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day – Judith Viorst
- The Hurt – Teddi Doleski
- Andrew’s Angry Words – Dorothea Lachner
- I Was So Mad – Mercer Mayer
Safe People
Click Here to download a PDF to help a child identify safe people.
Touches
- Good Touch: Makes you feel happy, does not hurt, and is okay to give/get.
- Bad Touch: Hurts you, makes you sad, scared, or angry. Should not be given or received.
- Secret Touch: Told to keep a secret, especially involving private places. Always tell a trusted adult.
Books About Touches
- I Said No: A Kid-to-Kid Guide to Keeping Private Parts Private – Zack and Kimberly King
- Your Body Belongs to You – Cornelia Spelman
- My Body is Private – Linda Malvoord Girard
- Body Boundaries Make Me Stronger – Elizabeth Cole
Secrets (1st Grade and Up)
Click here to download a PDF that reviews Good and Bad Secrets.
Behaviors of a Safe Adult
Click Here to download a PDF to help a child identify safe people.
More information coming soon.
B.E. S.M.A.R.T. Parent Resources:
Children in the B.E. S.M.A.R.T. program receive an activity book that reinforces the concepts taught during the program. Each book includes family follow-up activities to help caregivers continue these important conversations at home.
Need help starting the conversation with a child in your life?
Download our free Safety Talk Questions to guide discussions