B.E. S.M.A.R.T. About Personal Safety
B.E. S.M.A.R.T. is Prevent Child Abuse Delaware’s age-appropriate, school-based prevention program designed to help children build the skills they need to feel safe, confident, and supported—at school, at home, and in their communities.
Through engaging lessons and trusted relationships, students learn how to recognize feelings, set boundaries, identify safe adults, and ask for help when something doesn’t feel right. The program grows with students, introducing concepts gradually and thoughtfully as they develop.
B.E. S.M.A.R.T. is offered to students in Pre-K through 8th grade and is delivered by trained PCAD’s Prevention Education Specialists during the school day.
Our Approach
Lessons are interactive, developmentally appropriate, and grounded in a strengths-based approach. We focus on empowering children—not frightening them—by giving them language, tools, and trusted support systems.
For our youngest learners, we use PA Bear, a friendly and familiar teaching tool that helps introduce important safety concepts in a way that feels approachable, engaging, and non-threatening.
As students grow, lessons build on prior learning, helping them apply safety skills to real-world situations, including online and community settings.
Children in the B.E. S.M.A.R.T. program receive an activity book that reinforces the concepts taught during the program. Each book includes family follow-up activities to help caregivers continue these important conversations at home.
B.E. S.M.A.R.T. is a simple way to remember the actions that help keep your child safe and supported. Each letter is a reminder of what you can do at home:
Be actively involved in your child’s day-to-day life. Small gestures can make a big difference:
- Talk with your child about their day.
- Attend activities when possible.
- Listen without judgment.
- Know where your child goes online and what they explore.
Support open communication about feelings, boundaries, and safety:
- Ask about their feelings regularly.
- Explain the differences between secrets and surprises—no secret should last forever.
- Teach correct names for body parts.
- Discuss bullying, online safety, and appropriate touch.
- Reassure your child that they can say “no” to any unwanted touch.
Awareness is key to prevention:
- Most abuse occurs from someone the child knows; 40% involves older children.
- Grooming behaviors include giving gifts for no reason, seeking alone time, or ignoring
Reduce risks through environment and supervision:
- Favor group activities over one-on-one situations.
- Ensure interactions are observable and can be interrupted.
Use open-ended, non-leading questions to understand your child’s world:
- Who are your safe people?
- What scares you?
- Who do you play with at school or online?
Behavioral or physical changes can signal issues:
- Changes in behavior, school performance, or sleep patterns
- Poor hygiene or unexplained injuries
- Age-inappropriate sexual play
- Fear of certain people or places
If your child discloses abuse:
- Stay calm and listen.
- Believe them and reassure them that they did the right thing.
- Avoid blaming, pressuring, or asking leading questions.
- Trust your instincts—report concerns at 1-800-292-9582.
How Can I Help Keep My Child Safe?
Protecting children is a daily responsibility for caregivers, and talking openly about personal body safety is one of the most effective ways to educate, empower, and protect them.
Below, you’ll find details about what children learn at each grade level through the program, along with resources to help you and your family get the conversation started, stay B.E. S.M.A.R.T., and stay safe.
What Children Learn By Grade Level
Feelings
- • ALL feelings are okay and important.
• Feelings are not ‘good’ or ‘bad’ – it’s the way you express them that makes them helpful or harmful.
• Expressing feelings can help keep children safe.
• Safe adults care about all your feelings and are there to listen, help and protect you.
The 3 Safety Rules
Rules to follow if someone hurts you or touches you in a way you don’t like:
- Say No!
- Get Away (if you can)
- Tell Someone (sometimes it’s okay to yell for help)
The 4 Private Places
- Mouth, chest, and the two places covered by underwear.
- No one should touch or look at these places unless they are helping you keep your body CLEAN or HEALTHY.
- Review regularly and give examples of safe touches (e.g., doctor visits).
Safe People
- Adults you know very well and can trust who are over the age of 18.
- Someone who is caring and kind, listens to you and helps you.
- These can be adults in your family such as parents/other caregivers and/or outside of your family (i.e. relatives, teachers, neighbors)
Touches
- Good touch – any touch that makes you feel happy, does not hurt or one you don’t mind getting from someone. Not everyone likes the same kinds of touches.
- Bad touch – any touch that hurts you or makes you feel sad, angry or scared; one you should not give or get from someone.
- Secret touch – any touch you receive that you are told to keep a secret; especially if it involves private places on the body.
- Your body belongs to you – YOU get to decide what is a good touch or a bad touch for you!
Secrets (1st Grade and Up)
- Good secret – a secret about something that makes you feel happy or excited; a secret you don’t mind having or keeping such as a special surprise or gift you are giving someone.
- Bad Secret – a secret about something that makes you feel sad, angry, scared or worried; about you or someone you know being hurt, or possibly being hurt; or about someone doing something unsafe.
- You should ALWAYS TELL bad secrets to a trusted adult. No secrets should be kept forever!
Behaviors of a Safe Adult
Safe adults SHOULD:
- Be a good listener and give you their full attention when you have something important to talk about.
- Help you when you have a problem.
- Be caring and kind to you.
- Set limits to keep you safe.
- Be respectful of your body/boundaries.
Safe adults SHOULD NOT:
- Make fun of you when you’re scared.
- Ask you to keep bad secrets from other adults in your life.
- Touch private places on your body without a good reason.
- Say mean/hurtful comments to you all of the time.
- Hurt your body in a way that leaves bruises or other serious injuries.
The Four Types of Child Abuse:
- Physical Abuse – when a parent/caregiver hurts a child on purpose in a way that leaves marks, bruises, or causes serious injury.
- Emotional Abuse – when a parent/caregiver repeatedly uses their words to hurt a child. (i.e., “you are stupid,” “you are worthless,” “I can’t stand you”)
- Neglect – when a child is not provided with the basic things they need to be healthy or safe (i.e., food, shelter, clean clothes)
- Sexual Abuse – when someone touches a child’s private place without a good reason or asks/forces a child to touch their private place. Sexual abuse could also include taking/showing pictures of a child’s private places. The only good reasons for anyone to touch a child’s private places would be to keep the child’s body clean or healthy.
- The difference between abuse and punishment.
- Punishment is a consequence of making a bad choice that does not hurt or cause an injury to the child. Examples given include losing screen time, spending time in your room, or not being allowed to be with friends/go somewhere fun.
- Abuse is when someone hurts your body on purpose, leaving a bruise or causing other injuries.
- Child abuse is never OKAY, and it is never your FAULT if someone abuses you.
Online Safety
- Identify appropriate information to share online
- Identify ways to address inappropriate online requests
Boundaries:
- Personal boundaries are limits and rules we set for ourselves and others. It is important for children to know how to set boundaries and what to do if someone violates one of their boundaries.
- Everyone has physical boundaries as well as emotional boundaries. A physical boundary refers to your personal space and your comfort level with someone in that space. An emotional boundary refers to your personal information and who/how much you choose to share that with, OR if someone else is saying/doing something that makes you feel awkward, weird, or uncomfortable.
- There are four ways to set a boundary with someone:
- Be direct/assertive – say exactly what your limit is. (i.e., “No, thank you, I do not want a hug right now.”)
- Make an excuse – use an excuse to set a limit and get out of an uncomfortable situation. (i.e. “I’m not feeling well today, so I can’t give you a hug right now.”)
- Use humor – say something funny/silly to get your point across. (i.e., “You know I only give hugs on holidays!”)
- Ignore/leave the situation – move away from the person or leave the situation if it is safe to do so.
- Always tell a safe adult if someone is repeatedly violating one of your boundaries.
- Know the difference between safe adult behaviors and grooming behaviors
- Identify grooming techniques
- Identify red flag behavior
- Identify ways to report problematic online behaviors or inappropriate requests
- Know the definition of sexting
- Understand the dangers of sexting
- Understand what sexual exploitation is and how to handle it
How You Can Support Them at Home
Feelings
- Help children identify and talk about their feelings.
- Model identifying and expressing feelings yourself.
Click here to download a PDF to help learn how to discuss feelings with your child.
Books to Help Children Learn About Feelings
- Sometimes I Feel Like a Mouse – Jeanne Modesitt
- What Makes Me Happy? – Catherine and Laurence Anholt
- Today I Feel Silly & Other MOODS That Make My Day – Jamie Lee Curtis
- The Feelings Storybook – Alexandra Delis-Abrams, Ph.D
- The Very Angry Day That Amy Didn’t Have – Lawrence Shapiro
- A to Z Do You Ever Feel Like Me? – Bonnie Hausman
- Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day – Judith Viorst
- The Hurt – Teddi Doleski
- Andrew’s Angry Words – Dorothea Lachner
- I Was So Mad – Mercer Mayer
Safe People
Click Here to download a PDF to help a child identify safe people.
Touches
- Good Touch: Makes you feel happy, does not hurt, and is okay to give/get.
- Bad Touch: Hurts you, makes you sad, scared, or angry. Should not be given or received.
- Secret Touch: Told to keep a secret, especially involving private places. Always tell a trusted adult.
Books About Touches
- I Said No: A Kid-to-Kid Guide to Keeping Private Parts Private – Zack and Kimberly King
- Your Body Belongs to You – Cornelia Spelman
- My Body is Private – Linda Malvoord Girard
- Body Boundaries Make Me Stronger – Elizabeth Cole
Secrets (1st Grade and Up)
Click here to download a PDF that reviews Good and Bad Secrets.
Behaviors of a Safe Adult
Click Here to download a PDF to help a child identify safe people.
More information coming soon.
B.E. S.M.A.R.T. Parent Resources:
Children in the B.E. S.M.A.R.T. program receive an activity book that reinforces the concepts taught during the program. Each book includes family follow-up activities to help caregivers continue these important conversations at home.
Need help starting the conversation with a child in your life?
Download our free Safety Talk Questions to guide discussions