Potential Safety Talk Questions:

Remind your child to make a good choice by ‘Always Checking First’ with the safe adult at home before talking to anyone or going anywhere with anyone, but especially with someone they don’t know well or at all. Encourage them to use the Safety Rules if needed which include ‘Saying No’ to the person, ‘Getting Away’ from the person/situation and ‘Telling Someone’ as soon as possible. They can also yell for help in emergencies. Remind them that adults they do not know do not need to ask children for help with things like getting directions or finding their lost dog, they can ask other adults to help them with those things. Tell them it is okay to say ‘No’ to an adult they don’t know or if any adult asks them to do something that makes them feel uncomfortable, scared, sad or worried.

Discuss this scenario in a calm and honest way. Always reinforce that your child can tell you anything, even when that might be hard to do. Talk about how it made them feel and how they could handle the situation. Maybe they are embarrassed or worried about getting themselves or someone else in trouble or are concerned about how you will react when they share these types of issues. Remind them that is always important to speak up about anything that makes them feel uncomfortable so that you can help them manage those feelings and address the situation. Talk about how it is important to not keep secrets about anything that feels bad/wrong to them. Discuss other examples of good vs. bad secrets.

Encourage your child to tell you about anyone asking them to send pictures of themselves or for other personal information. Remind your child that not everyone online is who they say they are, and it is not safe to share pictures of any part of their body with someone online. Talk about how it would make them feel if this happened. Discuss how once pictures/information is shared with someone, it is out of their control what that person does with that content. That information can be saved, shared, edited or posted on other platforms without permission. It is also very difficult to get pictures removed from the internet once they are shared. If your child tells you that he/she shared private information with someone, react calmly and resist the urge to punish them by taking away their device or screen time. This might make it unlikely that will tell you about other problems they might encounter in the future. This does not mean, however, that there should be no consequence or boundaries put in place with regards to internet or use of social media.

This can be a difficult topic to talk about with your child, but it is very important. Discuss the topic in a calm and honest way. Talk about how your child’s friend is feeling and how they would feel about knowing this information and how they could handle it. Make sure to emphasize that it’s important for a safe adult to be aware of what is happening so they can ensure the friend receives help and is protected. Reinforce the difference between keeping good and bad secrets and that they can always talk to you about anything they feel sad, scared or worried about. Remind them that it is never okay for anyone to touch private places on their body unless it is to keep them clean or healthy and additionally, that this is never ever their fault if it does happen.

It is important to allow children to decide who they share signs of affection with. Forcing a child to hug or kiss someone tells them they do not have the right to choose who they touch and who touches them. It is important to reinforce that their bodies belong to them, and they should get to choose which touches they do or don’t like and that it is okay to say “No” to any touch they do not want. This can be difficult for a child to do, especially with an adult they care about. This can sometimes cause contention withing families. Explain to the adults in your child’s life that you as their caregiver allow your child to decline touches they do not want. It is important to back up the child’s request – this allows your child to know you are there to protect them and it allows potential offenders to know you will believe and protect your child. If children learn they have no control over touches and cannot say no (particularly to adults) they are at increased risk for abuse. Sex offenders often target passive, uneducated children who are taught to accept without question or protest any touch given to them. Supporting your child in this way can be a significant deterrent for an offender.